Nutty

A man grabs a biscotti out of a jar with his bare hands before I could offer to get it for him. Here’s how the rest of the encounter goes…

Me: Hi…!

Man: Does this have nuts?

Me: (can’t see which kind he’s holding) Probably. They pretty much all have nuts.

Man: Oh. I don’t want nuts (tries to put it back).

Me: No! No! You can’t put that back, sir, because you’ve touched it! You’re going to have to buy it!

Man: Oh. Okay. (looks at other biscotti) Oh man, there’s the one I wanted- the Chocolate Almond.

Me: That has nuts too.

Man: Does it?

Me: It’s called “almond.”

Glad I don’t work for you

Businessman wearing a suit walks in. He orders a cappuccino. I am making it…

Man: (staring at a shelf that contains eight jars of biscotti, six bags of three different kinds of coffee, and twelve boxes of four varieties of snack mix) What’s that?

Me: …the biscotti?

Man: (sarcastically) Oh, is that what it’s called? What is it?

Me: Sorry, I didn’t know what you were looking at. There’s a lot on that shelf.

Man: (points at coffee) Coffee. (points at snack mix) Trail mix. (points at biscotti) What is that?

Me: Sorry. It’s… Italian. It’s like a hard cookie. For dunking in coffee or tea or wine. It’s really good.

Man: It’s probably not a big seller.