What I said: “Excuse me, sir! You can’t smoke right in front of our door!”

What I meant: “It’s freaking everybody out that you’re dancing wildly to music nobody else can hear. You’re not even wearing headphones. I think it might scare people away. Please dance further down the sidewalk, away from our front door.”

Marvel look out

Sometimes my husband visits me at work. Here’s a conversation from today:

Me: You see that guy out there? The big one with the cigarette who’s dancing and singing to himself? That’s the guy who calls you The Incredible Hulk.

Husband: Okay I’m leaving now.