Fat Talk


Man walks in to use our sink. He’s a painter next door. I’m eating biscotti and drinking coffee.
Man: That stuff’s fattening.
Me: (smiles) I know.
Man: You should watch how much you eat. You don’t want to get fat.
Me: (stunned)


Same man walks in. I’m drinking tea. No biscotti.
Man: You’re not eating today.
Me: Nope, I haven’t had time.
Man: Good.
Me: Well, I plan on eating breakfast later.
Man: Be careful with that! You have a nice little figure. You don’t want to lose that.
Me: Sir, I’ve been eating breakfast my whole life. I’m not gonna get fat now.