To the business lady who is drinking her Starbucks coffee in my independent coffee shop:

Please stop glaring at the elderly man with the pancake-sized rhinestone keychain hanging from his belt and the shuffling, clompy cowboy boots. You know, the one who is smoking an unlit cigarette, swearing loudly into his phone, and saying incoherent things to the television.

He bought a Pepsi, which is more than you bought.