Variations on a pot theme

This is a common conversation:

Me: Sir, you smell very strongly of something illegal.
Man: Oh… okay…
Me:  So you’ll have to leave.
Man: Oh! Okay. (packs up and leaves)

A lot of times, the conversation goes something like this:

Me: Sir, you smell very strongly of something illegal.
Man: I wasn’t smokin’ none.
Me: But you smell like you were.
Man: But I wasn’t!
Me: It doesn’t matter to me if you were or if you weren’t. The fact is, you smell like pot and you can’t stay in here smelling like pot. People bring their kids here and cops come in here all the time.
Man: Oh. But I wasn’t smoking it.
Me: It doesn’t matter. You smell like it. You have to leave.
Man: Fine. (leaves)

But my favorite time, it went like this:

Me: Sir, you smell very strongly of something illegal.
Man: Thank you. (leaves)

Thank you?

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