This is the Short-List of people who are not allowed back in the store:
The guy with the baseball bat for a cane.
The guy with three pigtails. (“Three-pigtail,” we call him)
The sweatpants guy with the braided beard who rants about the crossing guard.
The platinum-blonde lady who tried to pass off a fake 50.
The guy who hugs everybody. (Although he’s very nice. It just weirds out all the people who don’t know him. Which is everybody.)
The guy who looks in the windows all the time. (Even though he’s “a lawyer from Washington, DC,” so he’s “allowed to do things that other people aren’t.”)
The tall guy who stole my tips.
The lady who has stolen all of our tips.
The little girl who starts a screaming match every time she’s in here.
The people who put their baby on the windowsill. Which is four feet off the ground.